i'm sorry for not updating blog for a long time.i should update last two weeks but not totally in mood so yeah.
for this post, i think this is the best time for me to post about this thing.
i've keep this thing to myself for a long time and i just can't-
i know i should be strong. but, i've been strong for too long.
so, i need to spill it. okay, not everything but something.
do you know how it feels losing your bestfriend?
do you know how it feels losing the one you trust the most?
do you know how it feels losing the one who are always by your side through thin and thick?
do you know how it feels losing those people who always making jokes around you?
do you ever feel alone if you're without them?
some people tell me that i'm too sensitive even for the little thing.
but for this situation, idk i'm the one who is sensitive or what.but what i feel nowadays is, people treat me like i have no feelings at all.
they do whatever they think good for them but they dont know how i'm the one who's in those situation.
they hurt my feelings a lot.
okay, i know i'm not talkative or what. but still, i'm a human. i have feelings.
i dont care if someone wants to advise me or what. but please, talk with manners.
there's no need to be backstabbers or what.
gah shit whatever. idk how to spill this kind of feeling.
i just feel like i'm nobody to anyone.
i feel like i lost everyone and everything in my life.
and yes, i feel like giving up to everything i do.
idk where should i stand. people always keep on judging me in everything i do.
for the bad and even for the good.
just to let you guys know. at least i show what myself actually is.
at least i'm being myself. and i dont do hypocrite.
so, it's up to you guys. for the bad and for the good, i'll accept everything.
maybe because i'm not talkative or what, they treat me like i'm an invisble person.
last but not least, i dont ask much.
i just need someone who can advise and motivate me when i'm down.
i just need someone who can fit in my shoes and willing to walk with me.
or.. enough for entertaining me when i need some sense of humour.and...
just, respect me as a human being too.
it's hard and kindda impossible for me to search for new bestfriend.
or in other words, idk which part i should fix but i could if i would.
i'm sorry guys for this emotional post. i just spill what i should because i've keep it for too long.
i'm not begging for any 'belas kasihan' from anyone. i spill because at least, i know the readers could feel what i feel. AT LEAST.
i hate to say this but i miss my bestfriend, friend and my old-self too :(
okay goodnight everyone. i'll be gone for everyone's good. goodbye.
throwback cause i miss.